Articles
Love Like Christ
Disciples of Jesus Christ should know that Jesus is our supreme example in every aspect of our earthly lives — that we follow His example in just about everything we do. If that could be summed up in one passage, it might be the words of John: “He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked” (1 John 2:6). The NIV puts it plainly: “Whoever claims to live in him must live as Jesus did.” In other words, if we are going to claim to be followers of Jesus, then we must live like Jesus lived.
If we are to truly live as Jesus lived, then we must thoroughly examine His life to see just how He did live, and then strive to make our lives a reflection of that life in every way — we must so live that when others see us, they think of Jesus because His ways are so visibly a part of who we are. Our ‘walk’ [way of life] must closely follow the example of Jesus, and every day we must be striving to become more like Him and less like the person we used to be.
That is, in fact, what He wants of all disciples, and even put helpers within the church for the very purpose of building them up “till we all come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a perfect man, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ” (Eph. 4:13), and that we “may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ” (Eph. 4:15). It should be evident that if He put these helpers in each church to facilitate each member becoming like Him to the fullest degree, this is something He strongly desires of each one of us!
One aspect of His life that defines Him best is found in the words of the apostle Paul in his admonition to the Ephesians when he wrote, “And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma” (Eph. 5:2). This admonition is given to all disciples, of course, so no Christian is exempted, but we should also note that husbands are given an extra admonition to follow Jesus in this attribute, with the command Paul gave by Divine inspiration later in this same chapter: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her…So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church” (Eph. 5:25-29). Therein are some important words I believe many overlook, ignore, or plainly disobey in their roles as husbands. If this admonition carries the weight of any other command of our Lord, then we understand we have no ‘wiggle room’ and there are no exceptions, no qualifiers, and no escape clauses. Husbands, do you honestly love your wife like Christ loved the church? Let’s consider a few points by which we may be able to answer truthfully.
A Love Without Limitation. Just as we are to love the Lord “with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” (Matt. 22:37), Christ loved us with His all. It was love that moved Him to set aside the glories of heaven and of being God, and come to earth in the form of lowly man and die that cruel death on the cross (Phil. 2:5-8). In simple terms, the love of Jesus was not measured and restricted, but was directed towards all men, and to the highest degree in that He literally gave all He had for us. He gave His very life for us! He did not draw line in the sand and say to man, “I will love you this much, but no more.” He loved us as much as it was possible to love, and held nothing back. It literally was a love with no strings attached, for He loved even those who would never return that love. He loved even those who had Him put to death!
Husbands, do you love your wives to this degree? Would you give your life for her sake? Do you love her with all the love you have to give, or are you holding some back? Do you love conditionally [“I will love more if she...”], conveniently [“I will love if it does not require more than I am willing to do.”], or condescendingly [“You don’t deserve it, but …”]? Imagine if Jesus loved you the same way you love your wife. Could we honestly then call it love? Hardly! Love, as God describes it, is unselfish, kind, and never fails (1 Cor. 13:4-8). Husbands, love your wives without limitations, for that is how Christ loved you.
A Selfless, Sacrificial Love. Paul’s admonition is that we “walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God.” Clearly, the love of Jesus was selfless and it was sacrificial, for Jesus set aside His personal desires for us, and He literally gave everything He had for us — He gave His life. What more could be said when we acknowledge that He gave His very life for us? There could be no greater demonstration of love, for Jesus Himself said, “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends” (John 15:13). Ah, but Jesus exceeded that because He died for His enemies!
Husbands, do you love your wife to this degree? What have you given up for her? What do you regularly give up for her, and simply because you want her to know how much you love her, and that your love is genuine, unfailing, and sacrificial — just like the love of Jesus for us? Remember that His sacrificial love was demonstrated with no strings attached and no expectations of anything in return — because that is true love. If your love for your wife is not selfless and sacrificial, as was the love of Jesus, then take the time to find out why it is not as it should be. As you search for the reason, do not look to put the blame on her; Jesus had plenty of reasons to not love us, but He loved us, anyway.
A Love That Does No Harm, But Seeks What is for Her Good. It almost sounds ludicrous to even have to say this, but the love of Jesus in no way and at no time did anything that was harmful or hurtful to the recipients of His love. That should go without saying, but there are so many cases of husbands being abusive to their wives and calling it “love” that it must be said. The apostle Paul wrote by Divine inspiration, “Love does no harm to a neighbor” (Rom. 13:10). Love does not harm one’s spouse, either. A husband who truly loves his wife as Christ loved the church will be seeking to do what is best for her, and hurt or harm is the furthest thing from his mind. Physical, emotional, and/or verbal abuse should never — never — be a part of a marriage relationship founded on love. Just try to imagine Jesus being physically, emotionally, or verbally abusive to His church and you see how ridiculous the idea really is. To try to justify it as a husband only makes you look like a complete fool. Worse, it makes you look like the epitome of evil, doing horrible things in the name of ‘love.’
Paul’s admonition to husbands is that they love their wives “as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it.” Any husband who has full control of his faculties would never do himself harm, so why would any man try to justify harming his wife in the name of ‘love’? If anything, husbands should be seeking what is good for her, keeps her safe, and makes her feel safe in his presence. Husbands should be a source of comfort, not fear and loathing.
Husbands, love your wives as you should. You will one day have to give an account to God. — Steven Harper
