Articles
Growing Up in the Lord
Any faithful Christian who is also a parent knows the challenges and responsibilities of raising one's children to know and follow the Lord. Fathers, particularly, have been given the charge to “not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4). All parents, under the Old Law, were charged to teach God's commandments “diligently to your children, and…talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up…bind them as a sign on your hand, and…as frontlets between your eyes…write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Deut. 6:6-9), and if they did, the Lord would be with them (Deut. 11:18-23).
As a parent, it is a constant source of conflict to watch one's child grow; you want them to grow up, but you also want them to stay that little one you could hold, or have sit on you knees, and who would still want to hold your hand. Every parent wants his or her child to remain innocent, but every parent also wants to see the child mature and become independent. [Until the day comes they want to move out on their own!] Part of being a parent is watching the children grow physically and intellectually, watching them develop their personalities and become the person they will be, and watching them make mistakes, fall down, and suffer the consequences of poor choices. As much as we parents want to protect our children from all harm, we parents also know that is part of the growing process, and we do them no good if we do not let them see and feel the consequences of poor choices — or just the reality of life itself.
All parents want their children to grow and mature, and want to prepare them for the time when they will be on their own. We send them off to school [or home school], we want them to get work experience, and we want them to have build good relationships with others and have their own friends. Parents who are Christians, though, should also want to protect our children from the worldly enticements and prepare them for the spiritual battles they will face as they grow up. It is not enough to get a good education and get a good job; parents who are Christians should want their children to follow the Lord, and to be able to resist the devil's temptations and endure his trials. We should want them to not only grow up, but also to grow up in the Lord.
This solemn responsibility is one that, unfortunately, is taken too lightly by far too many parents. Far too many fathers do not bring up their children “in the training and admonition of the Lord,” but either take no part in their upbringing, or bring them up in the ways of the world. If we parents who are Christians sincerely love and care for our children, we will not overlook or neglect this responsibility, but will do our best to fulfill our duty because we love them.
As with physical and intellectual maturity, spiritual maturity requires certain things of our children, and we parents can help them to grow up in the Lord so they can achieve the level of spiritual maturity necessary to survive our enemy's attacks, obtain the knowledge necessary to answer every temptation, become wise enough to make good and spiritually-beneficial decisions, and be examples to both believer and unbeliever. If we care enough to make sure they go to the 'right' schools, buy the 'right' car, and find the 'right' job and spouse, should we not be even more willing to help them in their spiritual efforts — if not more so?
So, how do we help our children to grow up in the Lord? Consider the following points that will help us help our children to know the Lord, follow the Lord, and grow up in the Lord. If and when we do these things to help our children's spiritual growth and maturity, we will be pleasing to the Lord and hear 'Well done' from Him in the end.
Follow the Lord Yourself. I remember a message sign I saw years ago; the message said, "There is nothing worse than good instruction followed by a bad example." How true! We parents cannot exhort our children to follow the Lord while we follow the world, and have any real expectation they will do as we say, and not as we do. Children are not dumb, and they will learn by our example what is truly important.
Paul charged Timothy, “If you instruct the brethren in these things, you will be a good minister of Jesus Christ” (1 Tim. 4:6), but he also charged him to “be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (1 Tim. 4:12). Timothy would be a poor minister of Jesus Christ if he did not live by the same principles and commands he gave to others, and parents will be poor spiritual instructors if they do not likewise practice the words of Jesus they teach to their children.
Teach Them to Love the Lord. When I think about the Christians who have influenced me most and who I remember best, it is clear to me that those who had a great love for the Lord were the most influential and memorable. The ones I best remember loved the Lord so much that everyone who met them knew they loved the Lord, too, and that love caused many to want to know more about the Lord so they could have that kind of love! Parents, do you realize you can have this same influence on your children?
There is a reason the greatest command is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” (Matt. 22:37); when we love the Lord like this, it will affect everyone we meet — including our children! When we love the Lord with our all, our children will want to know more about Him, and want to follow His ways. Then, when we get to actually teaching them to love Him, they will have already seen it in us.
Teach Them His Ways. I remember hearing a preacher years ago telling us some parents think they can put the Bible under their kids' pillow so that it will sink into their heads by osmosis when they lie down at night. I don't know how true that is, but I do know that there are parents who assume their kids will learn about the Lord and His ways without them ever actually teaching them the Lord and His ways! Maybe they think the Bible class teacher will teach them all they need to know, or they will hear every word the preacher says and be self-motivated to follow God because of that; I don't know why some parents never take part in their children's spiritual education, but I know it happens, and I have seen the results.
Parents, we cannot afford to merely assume our children will learn of the Lord and His ways without us ever taking part in that instruction; fathers, especially, need to be reminded of our task to “bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord,” and we must not shirk this duty, or take it lightly. Our children's spiritual growth and their very souls are at stake here!
Growing up in the Lord takes effort — on the part of the one who needs to grow, and on the part of those who facilitate that growth. As parents, we have a special duty to help our children know, and grow up in, the Lord, and if we do not take that responsibility seriously, it is certain that our children will not take the Lord seriously, either.
No, there is no guarantee our children will follow the Lord if we do teach them; but it is almost certain they will not if we don't. Now, what will we do?
—— Steven Harper
